I need help removing her.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Come share oat with me in your robe
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
