I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
