I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's never too late to be topless.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You made out with two different species that night
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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