I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
