Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
