i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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