Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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