im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You took a bar mat shot.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
