This girl is more easily done than said...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
