covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
