every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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