They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
