i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
