Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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