the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
