Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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