what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
