You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
