Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
