why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
