I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
