I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
