Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he was CRYING into my vagina
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
