marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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