Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
