just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
