When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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