I feel like abortions should bother me more
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
