I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
