I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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