i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
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i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
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He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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