Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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