i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
