Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ems hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(509): View more from Washington

woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach

Fav 20 2078 1148
share tweet
(517): View more from Michigan

careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus

Fav 23 3240 880
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(413): View more from Massachusetts

he asked me to hangout with him...and his son

Fav 17 1172 5553
share tweet
(616): View more from Michigan

He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.

(1-616): View more from Michigan

Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!

Fav 10 5378 1165
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.

Fav 13 6586 1140
share tweet
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.

Fav 18 2404 1284
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave

Fav 16 1930 856
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"

Fav 5 894 632
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(216): View more from Ohio

I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.

Fav 0 53 17
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT