I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
