I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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