i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
