OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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