I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
