the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize