I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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