I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
