I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
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The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
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so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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