he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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