dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
