I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
there's paper in my vomit.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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