I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
