I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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