I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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