Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
