I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
