hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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