I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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