I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize