Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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