Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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