I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i think i just lost a toe
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